In life you go through wins and losses... As a parent or player watching/playing and you lose it is difficult although you move on, but as the coach you beat yourself up because of it. Therefore as the wife you are the only person left to hear the ranting and raving, while being the only one to praise him in the rough times. No one likes to lose at anything they do, that is a part of life. When a player loses a game they are upset but get over it relatively quickly. Coach's, on the other hand do not, since this is their JOB it is hard to take in a loss and simply get over it.
Think about it this way... You are an employee for a big name company and you have to design a new product, pitch the idea and make a prototype. Days leading up to the big day you rehearse and make sure your prototype works, everything is great! Now the day of the presentation is here and one little thing goes wrong, your charts got wet from the rain. You continue to enter your building with pride and head towards your meeting. Suddenly you realize you left the prototype in the car, with you keys. You can't make a big scene because you are to present in 10 minutes. Therefore you have to go in with a wet chart and no prototype.. you know that if this pitch does not go well your job is on the line. Coaching is the same way... things will go wrong no matter what. A player will strike out because they don't listen to your suggestions. A player will make errors on the field and you have to TRY to remain calm. All of these things play into the win or lose... which in reality plays into your job.
My husband has had difficult days with players who won't give their full effort, despite the many "DO NOT GIVE UP" lectures he gives in between innings. I find myself as the wife giving the same speeches after the games, sometimes even between. It's funny how the tables of coaching turn! Occasionally I feel like the coach of my own coach!
