I have slacked on posting lately! There are a few things that have taken place since May...
1. Brent had knee surgery on June 15, which replaced his ACL. He couldn't participate in any summer athletics practice, which was hard on him. Now he is fully recovered.
2.We got a puppy, her name is Allie. She is a BEAUTIFUL black Doberman. She was born on the same day Brent had knee surgery (he said "see it was meant to be"). She is now 15 weeks old and weighs 38 pounds. She is the joy of our lives right now!
3. I felt like I deserved an award for sitting at Brent's football game a few weeks ago... IN THE RAIN! So I bought myself two Vera Bradley napkins to make into throw pillows for our living room :) and a Vera Bradley blanket for the games (when it doesn't rain).
4. I went to his homecoming game and sat with his aunt, uncle and precious cousins. We walked onto the field after halftime to join the line waiting for the players to exit the tunnel. That was an adventure!
So most people talk about how they want their fiance involved or how they want them to shut up with their "awesome" ideas for the wedding, which are really stupid! Nope, not me! I have a great fiance who says "Baby, do what you want... although I would really like this. You have done an amazing job! P.S. thanks for not overwhelming me with all this planning because you know how busy I am with coaching! You're amazing!"
Now don't get me wrong, yes I would LOVE to have Brent with me every step of the way while planning BUT our life isn't normal or that simple!
I have really become accustomed to the life I have and able to step into as a wife. I love his job and the impact he has on students everyday. I watch the way his players treat him both on and off the field..it's priceless.
The latest episode of planning has been the "free" gifts we have been receiving from companies, such as honeymoons, vacations, wedding rings, champagne glasses and lots of cooking utensils. The only catch is ALWAYS driving to Addison, TX (which is 30 minutes for me but an hour for Brent). The time is ALWAYS at 6:00 or 7:30 and during the week... mainly Thursday and Fridays. OH, and Brent has to be with me to receive the prize. (YA RIGHT)
Well, today we got another call about winning something and having to come on Wed-Fri at 7:30 to pick up the prize. When I explained to the nice lady that I was marrying a coach and he works EVERY NIGHT and wouldn't be able to make it with me she replied with: "Well, maybe someone can cover for him!" I thought before I responded, which was smart because my initial response would have been "Stupid lady, don't you know that coach's have no life and don't get off work until 12:00 on game days!?" Luckily I hesitated and said "I will see if that would work", even though I knew there was NO CHANCE!
Needless to say all of these 'free' gifts have a price like staying for shows and filling out surveys about presentations... boring and time consuming, which we don't have!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Lesson 2: Sacrifices are easy... yea right!
Like I stated before learning to make sacrifices is a key element needed when striving for a good marriage with a coach as your husband/fiance. I had gone all year at school not being able to talk to Brent until 8 sometimes even 10 at night, this was a sacrifice in my opinion. I would go weeks without seeing him and when I could it was from the stands of the game and then after he returned back to the house, late. Saturdays consisted of practice sometimes until 2 pm. This was another sacrifice I had learned to make. I was well accustomed to these new changes I was having to learn to make. Looking back now I know God was preparing me for one of the biggest sacrifices I would have to learn to 'live with' as a new coach's wife.
I had always heard that marrying a coach would be tough. Many men and women have told me that it takes a lot of patience, understanding and love to stay married to a coach. I know of many coaches that have broken marriages because of the stress, time demanded on the job and time away from their family. I believe marriage is a ONE time thing. I am marrying Brent, no one else and if that means he has to be gone from some things I will understand, love and support him. Although I may cry, be upset and frustrated because of the sacrifice I will have to make and in the future his children will have to endure as well. This does not mean my love for him will ever die.
After talking to these couples I began to think 'Oh I can do this, I have learned to make sacrifices before. My dad was a minister, they had long work hours and many things conflicted with prior engagements.' 'I am used to giving up my Saturdays and Friday nights during football season, as well as every day during baseball season. Besides I love watching him coach!' Well as baseball season rolled around and I received the schedule and I began filling in the games on my personal calendar, good coach's wife right?! Well as I moved towards the end of the schedule I saw the TBA Playoff dates, then it hit me... the tough sacrifices that I thought I had already mastered had yet to begin. May 7, 2011= Playoff game for his team as well as my college graduation day, 3 1/2 hours away. Needless to say I was crushed already as baseball season had begun. I kept thinking 'maybe they won't go very far, maybe he can still come. Maybe the other coach's would let him take this game off to be there for me on MY big day.' As time progressed so did the team, towards the playoffs. My heart sank deeper and deeper with utter disappointment.
Once people started finding out about Brent not being able to come to my graduation the criticism began flying in like flies at a picnic! I stood my ground, never cried (in public) and stated that educationally times are tough, everyone has to fight for himself to keep their job. This just happens to be what Brent has to do in order to keep his job. I knew I couldn't ask him to give up this opportunity of his job to come to my graduation. I was trying not to be selfish, although this was very difficult for me to do. Brent was very supportive and sweet through this whole ordeal, as well as our families and closest friends. I believe God gave me little sacrifices along the way to prepare my heart for this big test of true love and act of commitment to this relationship.
As the days got closer my friend, Jessica, made many efforts to help my mind stay astray from this incident. Which had worked until that day full of mixed emotions; joy and excitement to graduate, see all of my family but then disappointment for the love of my life being at a baseball game instead of my college graduation, a one time event! I woke up early and cried in bed. Whew! It was out of my system and I kept my mind busy and didn't think about him not being there. It wasn't until I was lined up for graduation and walking into the chapel towards my seat and looked at my family that I almost broke down crying like a newborn baby. I kept my composure and knew Brent would want me to be strong, which is what he said to me at 7:30 when he called me to congratulate me and encourage me for the day.
I had always heard that marrying a coach would be tough. Many men and women have told me that it takes a lot of patience, understanding and love to stay married to a coach. I know of many coaches that have broken marriages because of the stress, time demanded on the job and time away from their family. I believe marriage is a ONE time thing. I am marrying Brent, no one else and if that means he has to be gone from some things I will understand, love and support him. Although I may cry, be upset and frustrated because of the sacrifice I will have to make and in the future his children will have to endure as well. This does not mean my love for him will ever die.
After talking to these couples I began to think 'Oh I can do this, I have learned to make sacrifices before. My dad was a minister, they had long work hours and many things conflicted with prior engagements.' 'I am used to giving up my Saturdays and Friday nights during football season, as well as every day during baseball season. Besides I love watching him coach!' Well as baseball season rolled around and I received the schedule and I began filling in the games on my personal calendar, good coach's wife right?! Well as I moved towards the end of the schedule I saw the TBA Playoff dates, then it hit me... the tough sacrifices that I thought I had already mastered had yet to begin. May 7, 2011= Playoff game for his team as well as my college graduation day, 3 1/2 hours away. Needless to say I was crushed already as baseball season had begun. I kept thinking 'maybe they won't go very far, maybe he can still come. Maybe the other coach's would let him take this game off to be there for me on MY big day.' As time progressed so did the team, towards the playoffs. My heart sank deeper and deeper with utter disappointment.
Once people started finding out about Brent not being able to come to my graduation the criticism began flying in like flies at a picnic! I stood my ground, never cried (in public) and stated that educationally times are tough, everyone has to fight for himself to keep their job. This just happens to be what Brent has to do in order to keep his job. I knew I couldn't ask him to give up this opportunity of his job to come to my graduation. I was trying not to be selfish, although this was very difficult for me to do. Brent was very supportive and sweet through this whole ordeal, as well as our families and closest friends. I believe God gave me little sacrifices along the way to prepare my heart for this big test of true love and act of commitment to this relationship.
As the days got closer my friend, Jessica, made many efforts to help my mind stay astray from this incident. Which had worked until that day full of mixed emotions; joy and excitement to graduate, see all of my family but then disappointment for the love of my life being at a baseball game instead of my college graduation, a one time event! I woke up early and cried in bed. Whew! It was out of my system and I kept my mind busy and didn't think about him not being there. It wasn't until I was lined up for graduation and walking into the chapel towards my seat and looked at my family that I almost broke down crying like a newborn baby. I kept my composure and knew Brent would want me to be strong, which is what he said to me at 7:30 when he called me to congratulate me and encourage me for the day.
THIS was my first true sacrifice as a new coach's wife, yet I haven't even been given the ranking of a wife yet, I am still a fiance!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Lesson 1: learning to make sacrifices
I have never blogged before but I have been reading others blogs and see that they seem so free from everything after writing.
I want to share my thoughts and feelings through my journey of learning to be a coach's wife.
I am engaged to an amazing man, who happens to be a coach. Everyone always said "Are you sure you want to marry a coach?" "Do you know what you're getting yourself into?" "He will never be home or there when you need him most." My answer to all of these questions have been yes; I know what I am getting myself into, I want to marry a coach and I know he won't always be home, but that's ok. Being a coach is something meaningful and life-altering that most people don't know. A coach makes a difference in many lives everyday, even without knowing it. I have seen this first hand over the last year of watching Brent coach. This reminds me that it is worth it to know the man of my dreams is influencing the lives of many young men. He has been the godly role model many have needed to see as a young coach this has more of an impact because they relate more than to the 'older' coaches around the same age of their parents.
I can't lie and say that this has been the easiest first year or the best, BUT I can say that I know I can't have Coach Morris all to myself and have to remember the key lesson from kindergarten: "You need to learn to share." I had to learn to share my time with the players. This was not the easiest thing to do while I was finishing up school and 3 1/2 hours away from my best friend. It made life really easy for Brent to commit to his new job and show the district what type of coach he was without me being there to distract him and take away from that commitment. Although there were many nights I was exhausted and impatiently waiting to talk to the one person I needed the most but had to wait until about 9 every night! This was annoying because I finished with my day around 4 everyday. I wish I could have him there for my every need, time of crisis and exciting moment but I quickly learned that SACRIFICE is the first thing I have to learn to deal with as a coach's wife.
Sacrifice- something given up. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I have to be willing to give up time I want for time the players need. Not all players have the best home life, supporting parents or a godly role model. If I can give up time with my coach who has all of those aspects to contribute to the lives of those players who need him more I would be selfish by demanding his every aspect of attention and time. Especially with today's economy and crisis for jobs in the education world Brent needs to make every effort to keep his job and therefore we both have to make sacrifices. Sacrifices are never easy but I understand that they have to be made. This is still a concept though that I am trying to be supportive and more understanding about.
I have the privilege of having a coach's wife that I can watch, model and learn from. Brent's uncle is the A.D (athletic director) for the district and his wife is an amazing godly woman who has offered much support and comfort already through this journey. It is nice knowing there are other women out there that have the same concerns, frustrations and disappointments that I face as a 'little coach's wife' learning how to handle this lifestyle.
I want to share my thoughts and feelings through my journey of learning to be a coach's wife.
I am engaged to an amazing man, who happens to be a coach. Everyone always said "Are you sure you want to marry a coach?" "Do you know what you're getting yourself into?" "He will never be home or there when you need him most." My answer to all of these questions have been yes; I know what I am getting myself into, I want to marry a coach and I know he won't always be home, but that's ok. Being a coach is something meaningful and life-altering that most people don't know. A coach makes a difference in many lives everyday, even without knowing it. I have seen this first hand over the last year of watching Brent coach. This reminds me that it is worth it to know the man of my dreams is influencing the lives of many young men. He has been the godly role model many have needed to see as a young coach this has more of an impact because they relate more than to the 'older' coaches around the same age of their parents.
I can't lie and say that this has been the easiest first year or the best, BUT I can say that I know I can't have Coach Morris all to myself and have to remember the key lesson from kindergarten: "You need to learn to share." I had to learn to share my time with the players. This was not the easiest thing to do while I was finishing up school and 3 1/2 hours away from my best friend. It made life really easy for Brent to commit to his new job and show the district what type of coach he was without me being there to distract him and take away from that commitment. Although there were many nights I was exhausted and impatiently waiting to talk to the one person I needed the most but had to wait until about 9 every night! This was annoying because I finished with my day around 4 everyday. I wish I could have him there for my every need, time of crisis and exciting moment but I quickly learned that SACRIFICE is the first thing I have to learn to deal with as a coach's wife.
Sacrifice- something given up. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I have to be willing to give up time I want for time the players need. Not all players have the best home life, supporting parents or a godly role model. If I can give up time with my coach who has all of those aspects to contribute to the lives of those players who need him more I would be selfish by demanding his every aspect of attention and time. Especially with today's economy and crisis for jobs in the education world Brent needs to make every effort to keep his job and therefore we both have to make sacrifices. Sacrifices are never easy but I understand that they have to be made. This is still a concept though that I am trying to be supportive and more understanding about.
I have the privilege of having a coach's wife that I can watch, model and learn from. Brent's uncle is the A.D (athletic director) for the district and his wife is an amazing godly woman who has offered much support and comfort already through this journey. It is nice knowing there are other women out there that have the same concerns, frustrations and disappointments that I face as a 'little coach's wife' learning how to handle this lifestyle.
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